Setting up my private torture chamber, alternating who's sitting and standing.

My mind gives me a movie.
He is sitting... naked and tied to the chair, I have sedated him. I roll in a cart. On it a scalpel, a vat of flour and water, and a 2 foot chicken wire form in the shape of a phallus. I never make eye contact with him but feel his eyes on everything. I approach him with scalpel in hand and take a strip of skin. I dip it in the flour water and set in on the form, I do that until the phallus is completely constructed. I clap my hands and a chihuahua enters the room, it's wearing a shirt that says "cock-sucker". I place the skin-mache dick on the ground and the dog sinks it's teeth into it and takes it to the corner and tears it apart.

This feels good to me for about 10 seconds. On the eleventh I begin to empathize. On the twelth, I am ashamed of both my scheme and then my willingness to feel ashamed about it.

My turn to sit in the chair.

Get me off this pain-exchange program.